The Curse of Perfect Days
by LIFTDramaGurl7
Summary: "I guess that's the curse of perfect days...there's always a dark night to end them..." I've submitted this once, but I had to fix some mistakes. Please R&R


***Disclamier. Lyrics belong to Emery and characters to Cassandra Clare**

**(and sorry for so many songfics lol Music is the only inspiration in my bland hometown of Hazard, Kentucky xD)**

_**The Curse of Perfect Days**_

_**And you knew exactly when, you gave your heart and all of it**_

_**Without a thought of what you meant, you knew you couldn't live without this**_

_**So make your excuses now, that time has stolen all that you've earned**_

I can recall the very night I realized I was in love with Magnus Bane. I didn't even really know what love was, but I knew I couldn't go on living without him by my side. I changed everything for him. I let my walls down and finally let someone in. I've been through the depression and thoughts of feeling alone and unaccepted. I thought I had earned just a little happiness. But nope. Time had to come and rear its ugly head. Time had to come and make me realize that you can't grow old with your soulmate, as you've always dreamed of, when your soulmate never ages.

_**Tell me that I'm a fool**_

_**That I've exaggerated the situation**_

_**'Cause I've never been scared like this**_

_**Of losing more than I have to give**_

_**It's so unfair**_

_**I believed I could handle this**_

_**I swore I could fix everything**_

_**But I told myself lies all of these years**_

Magnus, tell me that I'm just overreacting. Tell me we'll never grow apart. That, somehow, we'll find a way to stay together forever. I don't care if it's all lies. I'm just terrified of losing everything I have with you. I'm terrified time's gonna rip us apart. I thought I could handle being with you. I swore there was something we could hope for. But the thought of me, growing old and dying as you remain young and unchanging...its too much. So just help me tell myself those beautiful lies. Make me believe that we can actually hope.

_**The fear that moves in and stays here**_

_**The words that replay in your ears**_

_**The grip that you held has weakened**_

_**Was the life that was yours forsaken**_

Fear is always there, in the back of my mind. It's always present, reminding me of the imminent future. It keeps Camille's words replaying in my head like a broken record. _"You're beautiful now. But will you be in twenty years? In forty? Fifty? Will he love your blue eyes when they fade, your soft skin when age cuts deep furrows in it? Your hands when they wrinkle and grow weak, your hair when it grows white-?"_ I thought our love was stronger than that. It was the absolute truth that I held on too. Now that grip is slipping, Magnus. How can we possible beat time?

_**But I can't take my eyes off of you**_

One would assume, with such odds against us, that we'd call it quits. Say we're wasting our time and give up. But I can't do that, Magnus. I'm so in love with you it hurts. I can't just walk away. It may be stupid, but hey, I never credited myself on being the smart one.

_**And we were still so cool**_

_**Our bodies smooth and young (bodies smooth and young)**_

_**The dreams of getting older**_

_**Were never supposed to come **_

_**The curse of perfect days**_

_**You forget just what you've made**_

_**And you find yourself just praying**_

_**For something more than this life**_

_**Something more than this life**_

I'm still young now. I have a while before dissoultion begins to claim me, as Camille said. But the nightmares of growing older still plague me. I always heard that love was supposed to be perfect. A dream becoming reality. And it is. Whenever I'm with you, Magnus, I forget all my fears. I'm just so happy to be with you. But at night, when you're not there beside me...the ghosts of reality haunt me. I guess that's the curse of perfect days. There's always got to be a dark, cold night to end them.

_**But I've never been scared like this **_

_**Just waiting for my strength to give **_

_**But this is the rock, I broke myself against**_

I can honestly say that I've never been more terrified then I am when I think of our future, when I think of our inevitable seperation. I'm tying to stay strong, cause I want to be with you as long as I can. But sometimes, I feel that strength is gonna give. It's like I'm holding on to nothing. It seems like I fall for you more and more with every passing second. I know, when I finally do leave you, that it's gonna make the pain even worse. But I can't bring myself to walk away. I'll can't bear to leave you until it's absolutely necessary.

_**We believed we'd have our way (And we did, and we did)**_

_**The memories we have made (Everyday was the best day of my life)**_

_**I could never repay what I owe (Or replace the book we wrote)**_

_**Even though I read the ending before the start**_

_**I would have never changed a single part**_

I don't regret anytime I've spent with you, Magnus. I don't regret my feelings for you one bit. Everything we have is precious. I truly believe that you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I can never repay you for all that you've given me. I know how this story ends. I know what's lurking in our future. But I wouldn't change any part of our tale. Every single moment we spent together were the greatest moments of my life.

_**Tell me I'm a fool, tell me I'm just scared**_

_**Say I'm such a drama queen, it's not even fair**_

So, once again, Magnus, tell me those lies. Tell me everything's gonna work out and we'll never have to part. Tell me I'm just being melodramatic with my fears. Let's pretend everything will be alright, that there is no tomorrow. Let's pretend, just for tonight.

_**Let me see your eyes, the love that's right behind**_

_**And I'll promise you**_

_**That it will never die**_

Let me look into your beautiful eyes. Let me see our love reflected there. The strong, passionate love that we both helplessly fell into. And let's regain that grip on the truth we both held so tightly; that our love is stronger than the hands of time. I'll make you the one promise I know I can keep; that even though I'll eventually pass away...my love for you never will.

_**It will never die**_


End file.
